Most Unusual O.C.D. Trait

Now I don't usually post about my job, (being in Engineering, it isn't all that exciting to anyone but other Engineers), but Friday was just too good to let go. I wrote a question up on a dry erase board in my department, "What is your most unusual O.C.D. Trait?", and I received some anally wonderful, obsessive-compulsive answers.

Now if any of you know any Engineers, you will know exactly what I am talking about. They may possibly be the most meticulous, anal-retentive, perfectionists that have ever worn a pocket protector. Women that are doomed to the unfortunate hell of having to be married to an Engineer know exactly what I am talking about. Their husbands generally don't cheat on them, or physically or mentally abuse them, (though you may call being married to one a form of mental abuse). These women have to put up with some things that are much, much worse. The constant rearranging of things into their proper locations (a place for everything and everything in it's place), the lack of spontaneity (if you want us to be spontaneous, you have to allow us to have a design review meeting and write some specifications on exactly how this spontaneity will be performed), and the generally just strange quirks that Engineers exhibit on a daily basis. I won't even talk about the female Engineers, they are an entirely different breed altogether.

I received many of the standard answers, "The toilet paper has to be on the roller so that it rolls outward, not towards the wall", "Constantly straightening the dish towel that is hanging on the handle of the stove", etc., but what I was looking for was the really unusual ones. To understand the difference between "normal peoples" obsessive-compulsive disorder and Engineers O.C.D. you have to realize that if a normal O.C.D. person sees a picture on the wall hanging uneven they will constantly have to straighten it, where the O.C.D. Engineer will tear the wall down and rebuild it so that the picture never goes out of level again.

We did have one Engineer that claimed not to be anal at all, and we even called up his wife to find out the truth (wives know), but she actually confirmed his story. We have decided to have his degree investigated to make sure he is actually an Engineer and not one of those Art majors.

Now I would like to share with you the best ones from the list, in no particular order (hard to believe isn't it?), starting with my own:

I have coffee cup tree in my kitchen which has to hold the same six mugs, each of which has their own location on the tree, and each of which is used on a specific day of the week. One is used twice, it is my weekend mug, which means dishes are done on Saturday night so that it can get washed for use on Sunday.

Another Engineer has two jugs, one of milk and one of juice, which go in the door of their refrigerator at home. Now most of his family members will just put them anywhere in the door, and normal O.C.D. would cause a person to put them in the exact same location every time, but this Engineer's O.C.D., means that he has to put the one that is the most full closest to the hinge of the door since the heavier weight towards the outside edge of the door would change the center of gravity and it's moment of inertia (sorry for the Engineering terms) and would cause the door to swing open too fast.

A young, Intern Engineer claims that whenever he sees a new piece of chalk for a chalkboard he has to break it, but not just break it normally, he has to "twist it" to break it, since anything that is broken by twisting, will break at a 45 degree angle. If you don't quite understand this one, just realize that it's an Engineering thing. We did debate whether this is actual O.C.D. or just youthful destructiveness, so for the time being, though I have included it, this one is still up for review.

Finally, I have saved what I feel is the best for last. When asked what his most unusual O.C.D. trait was, one Engineer replied, "that's easy", and pulled up his pant leg to reveal a safety pin hooked to one of his socks. Apparently he has a safety pin hooked to every pair of socks he owns so that he can pin them together before putting them in the wash, that way each sock will have the same amount of wear and tear on it, he can also use the safety pin if he splits his pants at work, or he can use it for an emergency fishing hook, or a suture if he cuts himself. I'm told it's also important that it be a brass safety pin so that it won't rust in the wash.

So if you think my O.C.D. isn't as bad as some of these others, you have to realize how many hours I spend on each post and how many times I rewrite them, and still am not satisfied when I do finally give up and post them from the sheer exhaustion of nit-picking them to death (I am going to try and post this without a re-write, but I don't know if I will be able to stand it)...

What's your most unusual obsessive-compulsive disorder trait?


"In anything at all, perfection is finally attained, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away."

-Antoine De Saint-Exupery - Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939


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Update: Seven days and still not smoking. It's been harder than I remember it, but I figure that's just because it's been longer.

1,000th Day One...

Well as of yesterday I am officially trying to quit smoking again. I've been down this road, oh, so many times before but have always managed to fall short of the objective. This time I am more determined to succeed than any other time I can remember, but I know that doesn't mean it will happen. I also know that it must happen, or they might as well just put me in a flip-top-box right now.

The last time I tried was two and a half years ago, I know this because that's when I quit drinking. I knew that most of the times I failed to quit smoking, drinking caused the failure. I would go out, have a few beers, lose my inhibitions and buy or bum a cigarette. So this last time I tried, I quit drinking first, hoping that it would be just what I needed to overcome the beast. I succeeded at quitting drinking, which really wasn't that hard at all, but after six months slipped off of the no smoking wagon.

I wish that quitting smoking was as easy as quitting drinking, then I'd have it made. In fact of all the challenges I've met in my life, quitting smoking has to be, by far, the hardest one for me to overcome. I don't understand why this is the case when so many of my family members have quit, seemingly so easily (I know this is only how it appears). My one brother quit and his wife is a chain smoker. I couldn't imagine trying with someone around me all the time like that. Unfortunately he just started up again after having stopped for eight years. I smacked him upside his head when I found out he started again.

I do understand full well what happened to him though. Something people who have never smoked can't possibly understand. Once you have been addicted to it for any length of time, it never, EVER, let's you go after that. You can quit for ten years, and the desire, the pangs to have one, will keep coming back. If I could quit and it would be totally gone after say, six months, then I would have succeeded a long time ago. There have been so many times that I've tried and failed after I thought I had it beat, just because after a while your guard lets down, a stressful day or a moment of weakness happens, and bang, you're back smoking again. The surgeon general once said quitting the smoking addiction is harder than quitting cocaine, yeah, I wish this were cocaine I was addicted too.

Even blogging can be difficult when you are trying to quit because just sitting down at the computer has become a trigger. I smoked much more when I sat behind the monitor than any other time. There are just so many triggers to overcome, I even tried to figure out a way to drive to work without passing a store, but there just isn't one. It's too easy, in a moment of weakness, to pull over into one of those places and buy a pack, especially when the stresses of the winter driving commute start, that one has nailed me several times.

This time I have a goal, though it may sound a bit silly. With the recent announcement by several countries of a planned return to the moon by 2020, I would kinda like to be around to see that. I was seven years old, and do remember the first time they landed, and yes I know it's quite an over-reaction on my part to think that I wouldn't be around in thirteen years if I don't quit, even though I did have an uncle die young from emphazema because he was a chain smoker. I just feel the need to quit this time seems so much more serious than before, as I enter the autumn of my life. It may be entering the winter of my life if I don't succeed.

I'm starting by using the patch again this time, which I have had luck with in the past (how can I say that if I always failed?). It really helps me get through the horrifically difficult beginning and first day. After that, the trick is not to let your guard down six months later. My second ex-wife once said "she thought I quit using the patch too early the other times", perhaps she was right, I think I will take her advice and stay on it a little longer this time. I have always felt that I really just needed the patch to get through the first day. I sure could use a wife right now to help relieve the stresses that come with quitting smoking ;-) though the truth is that spouses can cause their share of stresses as well.

So now it's time to keep busy (as to keep my mind off of it), take lots of naps, eat a lot, gain weight, and worry about the diabetes the weight gain may cause later. I can only fight one battle at a time and this is one battle that I really need to win...


To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
-Mark Twain

More GLMF 07

I was walking through the Medieval Faire in the early morn, just after opening, when a high voice didst called out to me "My Lord, wouldst thou like thy Tarot read?"

I responded to the fair young maiden sitting on the bench in the wood "How much of my gold wouldst such a reading cost?"

She responded "None my Lord, tis' free".

Now being a wary old sea dog I am not normally taken in by such frivolous things, but being that it was said to be free (doubt ringing in the back of me mind) I chose to give it a try nonetheless.

This fair maiden who didst go by the name "Michelle De Nostradamus" (hmmm... why didst her name sound so familiar?) invited me to sit whilst she did turn over 4 cards for me, which was apparently her form of reading the Tarot. Now I have never had my cards read before, but it did seem to me there should be more cards than that, but being that the price was so cheap I figured this must be the wal-mart version.

The first card she turned was "The Lovers" which she claimed to represent my past. Now as there have indeed been lovers in my past I was not overly surprised by this, but it surely did not tell me anything new.

The second card she turned over for me was "The Poppes" which she did tell me represented my present and after consulting the small book in her lap, didst also tell me "this represented balance and was a good thing" (after seeing her consult her manual and her seemingly unending hesitations I was getting the impression that she was maybe not the most spiritually gifted of "tellers" in the fine shire of Avaloch but then again, still no money had passed hands, so this was still all good). I thought upon the "Balance" this card was said to tell and I surmised that this was indeed also true as I have not fallen down in some time (at least not since I quit imbibing spirits), so this did seem reasonable to me as well, but as with before, no new revelations.

The third card which she didst turn over for me was "The Hanged Man" which she said did represent my future. This card did suggest to me that there was death in my future, which once again did not surprise me, as not being immortal, I do fully expect that I will die at some point. Nothing new to figure out here either.

The fourth and final card she turned for me was "The Magician" (kinda like the joker) and this card she did say was for luck. Well knowing my luck with gambling, as well as with the ladies, has always seemed to be a "joke", I did not see anything new here as well.

She did not have any more revelations to tell me as to exactly what the cards meant and did mostly seem at loss as far as what any explanations for them might be, so I did thank her and went on my way but not before tipping her a couple of pounds for at least trying (I suppose it worked since some money did end up changing hands).

As I walked away thinking what silliness these things are, and being a man of science, how is it that people can believe in such nonsense as Tarot Cards, Fortune Telling, Palm Reading and alike, it suddenly dawned on me "That her telling had been exactly correct after all!"...


"If fortune smiles, who doesn't? If fortune doesn't, who does?"
-Chinese Proverb