"You've Been Wandering the Wastelands, Fighting with Half-Men Again, Haven't You?!?"

Ok, here come the excuses... Sorry for being absent from blogger lately. It's amazing that if you just say "you are not going to blog today", how quickly that can turn into tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and before you know it a month has gone by. I guess I took a break from blogging without really meaning to.

Now I could say that so many things have been going on lately that I really didn't have time to blog, but that wouldn't be totally true. It is true that sometimes I get way too many "projects" going, and start many more than I finish. It always seems to be a question of "what am I going to work on today?" and "what am I going to let slide?" I have projects going on here that I have literally been working on for years, and one would think I would finish up some of them before I start any new ones, but what would be the fun in that.

I've often thought that people don't die "wishing that they had done all these things that they always wanted to do." No, I believe people die when "they run out of things to do that they always wanted to do." I see people in their "mid-life crisis", rushing around doing all kinds of wild and dangerous things, wanting "to get them in" before their time runs out, and I wonder "if you get them all done, what's left after that?"

Fortunately, I've been spared the desire to go climb mountains or jump out of perfectly good airplanes (shouldn't people save that one for last just in case the parachute doesn't open?). My desires are much simpler. I want to get rid of all my bad vices (smoking and drinking), I want to learn Tai Chi, I want to learn all about Buddhism and learn to meditate, I want to become a calmer, more focused individual. Some people that know me would say that "I would have to die to become any calmer", but these people only see an outward projection and do not have a clue how I feel inside. It seems as I get older, I am having a much harder time staying "in the eye of the hurricane", if that makes any sense to you.

If I just thought about all the books I want to read before I died, I could probably come up with about 300 years worth of reading, and the list grows daily, much faster than I could ever possibly read them. The invention of e-books hasn't helped the situation much either, and lately I've found quite a few of them that have taken up more of my free time.

I would like to say that all the things I have been doing have been positive things, but anyone who has a life knows that that can never be the truth. Work has been a bear lately, with several people leaving, and the rest of us having to pick up the slack. So there has been more than one day of coming home and zonking out on the couch. One might also think that I have been wasting my time watching TV, as the new seasons of many of my shows and the hockey season have started, but unfortunately keeping my eyes open to see them has been more of a challenge than anything else lately. I can't blame this napping all on work though, since I know a lot of it is being caused by my trying to quit smoking (8 weeks now), so I guess that fixes the Karma of it.

It hasn't been all bad things either, as I have been taking some long walks through the neighborhood (camera in hand), mostly trying to slow down this weight gain that quitting smoking has thrown at me. I have also rediscovered my love for vegetables, which is a good thing, and has helped slow down the weight gain as well, if only food didn't taste so good right now. I have also completed a couple of woodworking projects that have helped to keep my hands busy. I will try and bring you pictures from my walks and my woodworking projects in some later posts.

So there are my list of excuses for not blogging for the last month, all of which I know may seem pretty lame, but thats my story and I'm sticking to it. I will try to pick it up, and be a better blogger, but I ain't makin' no promises (by the way I have been reading your blogs but haven't always been in a position where I was able to make comments on them).

Most Unusual O.C.D. Trait

Now I don't usually post about my job, (being in Engineering, it isn't all that exciting to anyone but other Engineers), but Friday was just too good to let go. I wrote a question up on a dry erase board in my department, "What is your most unusual O.C.D. Trait?", and I received some anally wonderful, obsessive-compulsive answers.

Now if any of you know any Engineers, you will know exactly what I am talking about. They may possibly be the most meticulous, anal-retentive, perfectionists that have ever worn a pocket protector. Women that are doomed to the unfortunate hell of having to be married to an Engineer know exactly what I am talking about. Their husbands generally don't cheat on them, or physically or mentally abuse them, (though you may call being married to one a form of mental abuse). These women have to put up with some things that are much, much worse. The constant rearranging of things into their proper locations (a place for everything and everything in it's place), the lack of spontaneity (if you want us to be spontaneous, you have to allow us to have a design review meeting and write some specifications on exactly how this spontaneity will be performed), and the generally just strange quirks that Engineers exhibit on a daily basis. I won't even talk about the female Engineers, they are an entirely different breed altogether.

I received many of the standard answers, "The toilet paper has to be on the roller so that it rolls outward, not towards the wall", "Constantly straightening the dish towel that is hanging on the handle of the stove", etc., but what I was looking for was the really unusual ones. To understand the difference between "normal peoples" obsessive-compulsive disorder and Engineers O.C.D. you have to realize that if a normal O.C.D. person sees a picture on the wall hanging uneven they will constantly have to straighten it, where the O.C.D. Engineer will tear the wall down and rebuild it so that the picture never goes out of level again.

We did have one Engineer that claimed not to be anal at all, and we even called up his wife to find out the truth (wives know), but she actually confirmed his story. We have decided to have his degree investigated to make sure he is actually an Engineer and not one of those Art majors.

Now I would like to share with you the best ones from the list, in no particular order (hard to believe isn't it?), starting with my own:

I have coffee cup tree in my kitchen which has to hold the same six mugs, each of which has their own location on the tree, and each of which is used on a specific day of the week. One is used twice, it is my weekend mug, which means dishes are done on Saturday night so that it can get washed for use on Sunday.

Another Engineer has two jugs, one of milk and one of juice, which go in the door of their refrigerator at home. Now most of his family members will just put them anywhere in the door, and normal O.C.D. would cause a person to put them in the exact same location every time, but this Engineer's O.C.D., means that he has to put the one that is the most full closest to the hinge of the door since the heavier weight towards the outside edge of the door would change the center of gravity and it's moment of inertia (sorry for the Engineering terms) and would cause the door to swing open too fast.

A young, Intern Engineer claims that whenever he sees a new piece of chalk for a chalkboard he has to break it, but not just break it normally, he has to "twist it" to break it, since anything that is broken by twisting, will break at a 45 degree angle. If you don't quite understand this one, just realize that it's an Engineering thing. We did debate whether this is actual O.C.D. or just youthful destructiveness, so for the time being, though I have included it, this one is still up for review.

Finally, I have saved what I feel is the best for last. When asked what his most unusual O.C.D. trait was, one Engineer replied, "that's easy", and pulled up his pant leg to reveal a safety pin hooked to one of his socks. Apparently he has a safety pin hooked to every pair of socks he owns so that he can pin them together before putting them in the wash, that way each sock will have the same amount of wear and tear on it, he can also use the safety pin if he splits his pants at work, or he can use it for an emergency fishing hook, or a suture if he cuts himself. I'm told it's also important that it be a brass safety pin so that it won't rust in the wash.

So if you think my O.C.D. isn't as bad as some of these others, you have to realize how many hours I spend on each post and how many times I rewrite them, and still am not satisfied when I do finally give up and post them from the sheer exhaustion of nit-picking them to death (I am going to try and post this without a re-write, but I don't know if I will be able to stand it)...

What's your most unusual obsessive-compulsive disorder trait?


"In anything at all, perfection is finally attained, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away."

-Antoine De Saint-Exupery - Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939


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Update: Seven days and still not smoking. It's been harder than I remember it, but I figure that's just because it's been longer.