Spider Symbiotic Relationship Contract

It is very likely most scientists (and Wikipedia, from whence the following information came, and in whom we trust) will tell you that Spiders fall under the Kingdom: Animalia, Phylum: Arthropoda, Class: Arachnida, Order: Araneae, of which there are 111 families, comprising 40,000 species, including the Suborders: Mesothelae, Mygalomorphae, and Araneomorphae, (whew!...may the spelling Nazis and anal retentives spare me!). That's a heck of a lot of spiders to look through especially if you are looking to identify any particular one.

Of course any child will tell you that there really are only four types of spiders (correct me if I missed any) as follows:

Classification: "Big and Hairy" - Though not indigenous to this part of the country, can be found in some peoples homes where they are kept as pets, and might I add, do qualify as pets, since they are "pet able", wherein fish are not.

Classification: "Long Legged" - best known; "Daddy", the largest of the long legged species, and friends to most children as they rarely/do not bite.

Classification: "Big, Fat Booty" - Spiders, according to children are debatable the scariest, next to the "Big and Hairy", but do "pop" when stomped on, confirming death. Often misclassified as the "Big and Hairy" type by those who are most fearful.

and finally

Classification: "Itsy Bitsy" - Best known from their "water spout" fame, but besides that are generally ignored except when found inhabiting the screen of a window or door, that they seem to confuse with a pre-made web, just the right size for them.

(boy is the spell checker taking a beating).

Of these (except for the "Big and Hairy", as mentioned before), I have many, living both inside and outside of my home. We do have an acceptable symbiotic relationship wherein I allow them to live, and they keep the six legged creatures inhabiting our living area down to a minimum. In many of these cases, training of said spiders has been required in order to maintain a peaceful symbiotic relationship. I would like to mention, that I have found the spiders sharing my living area, as easily trainable, and most cooperative when it comes to sharing a living environment. I would like to point out two spiders, in particular, for showing exceptional wisdom and understanding, and for following the rules of living amongst humans:

To the female spider, of the "Big, Fat Booty" variety, living on my back porch (one of many there, but known to be female for the multiple egg casings laid. See picture above; most cooperative with the camera lens one inch from you, I might add) I would like to say: "I did not particularly enjoy the time when you were maintaining a spot directly over my doorway, though I must mention that you resisted the temptation to jump in my hair while I was locking and unlocking the door." "I must also mention that the time you built a large web right in the walkway, which I walked directly into, and took said web full in the face, did nearly stress our relationship to the breaking point and was not in any way enjoyable." I am glad to say that "the position you have now taken up on my back porch is much more acceptable, and I am glad that we have worked through our previous issues." and finally "Please maintain your present position this afternoon when construction is going on to wrap said back porch for winter, as moving to the outer areas of the porch where the panels are being hung could be unsafe (O.S.H.A. Standards apply)."

To the spider of the "Long Legged" variety that has attempted on at least three occasions to take up residence in my bathroom, I would like to say: " I am glad that you survived the two occasions that you attempted to take up residence in the shower, and chose to exit said shower when I held the shower door open for you, and changed your mind against heading towards the flowing water, as you attempted on both occasions, and might I add, would have been disastrous on your part." I would also like to say "I'm sorry for disturbing you when you had taken up residence behind the bathroom door, I did not know you were there, but must also commend you for leaving when I held that door open for you." "I must say that I am surprised by your wisdom and intelligence in understanding exactly what, 'a door held open for you', means."

To all of the rest of my eight legged, symbiotic partners, inhabiting my living environment, I would just like to say before winter sets in, "Thank you for your on-going battle in keeping our living area clear of those nasty bugs (especially the 'skeeters'), and to your progeny next year, I extend the same 'symbiotic no squish/no bite contract' that I had with you this year, providing walking areas are kept clear of webs, and the shower (due to its inherent danger) is, once again, an off limit zone."

Boo Smiles for You...

These aren't your mamma's jack-o-lanterns...

Here's hoping all you Goblins have a most wonderful All Hallows' Eve...

Woodworking #101 Part #1

Ok, now I'll tell you everything you need to know about woodworking... Well... maybe not... The truth is I am certainly not the greatest woodworker on the planet, I don't create great works of art or stunning pieces fit to be seen in some posh gallery downtown. But then again that's not really the point of it, or at least it isn't for me.

I've been woodworking my whole life with little more than simple hand tools and have loved every minute of it. I know people that make absolutely fantastic creations out of wood and probably don't get any more enjoyment out of it than I do. You see, when it comes down to it, I am not really overly concerned with what I'm making, or how impressive it comes out, as long as it comes out reasonably decent, I'm good with it. I'm not trying to impress anyone.

For me there is just something so magically relaxing about the sound of a hand plane sliding over a piece of knotty pine, or block sanding some rough hewn lumber down to a silky smooth finish. Beveling an edge purely by eye and having it come out perfectly equal just brings a warm fuzzy feeling all over that's hard to describe. I find reading or watching movies very relaxing, but with them, when you are done, there is nothing for you to grab a hold of, nothing solid you can hold in your hands and say to yourself "I made this".

These pictures show a display stand I made the other week for a replica blunderbuss pistol I picked up at the medieval fair over the summer, and this is a good example of exactly what I am talking about. I really liked this pistol and didn't want to put it away until next years fair, so I got out my tools and went to work on a new piece of pine. This isn't en extravagant project, it didn't take weeks of meticulous, labor-intensive work, in fact except for the staining and lacquering, and the entire thing was completed in a few hours. But it really made for a relaxing Sunday afternoon, it wasn't some massive job that took weeks and weeks and hundreds of dollars, and when I was done I had a nice functional item that I could be proud of.

If you watch some of the woodworking shows, you may get the idea that you have to have thousands of dollars in equipment filling up your garage (I don't even have a garage, this was done in my kitchen, 'women insert derogatory remark here'), and spend thousands more on the finest exotic woods, and have master designs laid out, but this just isn't the case. You don't have to break the bank to make some very nice things, and I didn't even have any plans for this, I just sort of followed the vision in my head, planning it as I went.

It really is a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon and you just might find your wife would prefer you creating something nice, even if you have to take over the kitchen for an afternoon, rather than you sitting there watching football games all day... well, maybe as long as you clean up the sawdust afterwards and don't cut into the kitchen counter top...

"You've Been Wandering the Wastelands, Fighting with Half-Men Again, Haven't You?!?"

Ok, here come the excuses... Sorry for being absent from blogger lately. It's amazing that if you just say "you are not going to blog today", how quickly that can turn into tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and before you know it a month has gone by. I guess I took a break from blogging without really meaning to.

Now I could say that so many things have been going on lately that I really didn't have time to blog, but that wouldn't be totally true. It is true that sometimes I get way too many "projects" going, and start many more than I finish. It always seems to be a question of "what am I going to work on today?" and "what am I going to let slide?" I have projects going on here that I have literally been working on for years, and one would think I would finish up some of them before I start any new ones, but what would be the fun in that.

I've often thought that people don't die "wishing that they had done all these things that they always wanted to do." No, I believe people die when "they run out of things to do that they always wanted to do." I see people in their "mid-life crisis", rushing around doing all kinds of wild and dangerous things, wanting "to get them in" before their time runs out, and I wonder "if you get them all done, what's left after that?"

Fortunately, I've been spared the desire to go climb mountains or jump out of perfectly good airplanes (shouldn't people save that one for last just in case the parachute doesn't open?). My desires are much simpler. I want to get rid of all my bad vices (smoking and drinking), I want to learn Tai Chi, I want to learn all about Buddhism and learn to meditate, I want to become a calmer, more focused individual. Some people that know me would say that "I would have to die to become any calmer", but these people only see an outward projection and do not have a clue how I feel inside. It seems as I get older, I am having a much harder time staying "in the eye of the hurricane", if that makes any sense to you.

If I just thought about all the books I want to read before I died, I could probably come up with about 300 years worth of reading, and the list grows daily, much faster than I could ever possibly read them. The invention of e-books hasn't helped the situation much either, and lately I've found quite a few of them that have taken up more of my free time.

I would like to say that all the things I have been doing have been positive things, but anyone who has a life knows that that can never be the truth. Work has been a bear lately, with several people leaving, and the rest of us having to pick up the slack. So there has been more than one day of coming home and zonking out on the couch. One might also think that I have been wasting my time watching TV, as the new seasons of many of my shows and the hockey season have started, but unfortunately keeping my eyes open to see them has been more of a challenge than anything else lately. I can't blame this napping all on work though, since I know a lot of it is being caused by my trying to quit smoking (8 weeks now), so I guess that fixes the Karma of it.

It hasn't been all bad things either, as I have been taking some long walks through the neighborhood (camera in hand), mostly trying to slow down this weight gain that quitting smoking has thrown at me. I have also rediscovered my love for vegetables, which is a good thing, and has helped slow down the weight gain as well, if only food didn't taste so good right now. I have also completed a couple of woodworking projects that have helped to keep my hands busy. I will try and bring you pictures from my walks and my woodworking projects in some later posts.

So there are my list of excuses for not blogging for the last month, all of which I know may seem pretty lame, but thats my story and I'm sticking to it. I will try to pick it up, and be a better blogger, but I ain't makin' no promises (by the way I have been reading your blogs but haven't always been in a position where I was able to make comments on them).

Seafood Bisque

Yesterday dawned more like any fall day you can imagine, even though the calendar says we still have a week of summer left. It was drizzly with dark clouds and no sun to be had, and the thermometer on the back porch read a bone chilling 46 degrees F.

Though I've been living here for many years it still surprises me by just how quickly the weather changes right after Labor Day. So being chilled to the bone I decided there is just one thing to be done about it, I broke out the 16 quart stock pot and decided to "go to town" on a batch of seafood bisque.

Now I love summer and the hotter the weather is the better, but one thing I do like about fall and winter is cooking becomes "no holds barred". When it's hot you may not want to fire up the stove or the oven, but come fall you don't mind a bit simmering a nice stoup all day long, and there is nothing better than the warmth it brings when consuming it, not to mention the bonus of heating the house up a couple of degrees without turning on the furnace.

This is my recipe for Seafood Bisque, guaranteed to warm you up on any chilly fall day:

1 stick butter
4 stalks celery - sliced (including tops)
1 large onion - diced
1 bunch green onions - sliced
1 red bell pepper - sliced
1/4 cup flower
1 can mushroom bits & pieces 4 oz. (include juice)
1 can white corn 15-1/4 oz. - drained
1 can diced potatoes 14-1/2 oz. - drained
1 can chopped green chiles 4-1/2 oz.
1 pint heavy cream
1 can cheddar cheese soup 10-3/4 oz.
1 can cream of celery 10-3/4 oz.
1 can cream of potato 10-3/4 oz.
2 cans whole milk 10-3/4 oz.
1 tbsp. Old Bay seasoning
2 tbsp. Creole seasoning
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. basil
1 tbsp. parsley
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper
6 cups water
1/2 lb. langostinos
1 lb shrimp peeled, deveined & detailed
1/2 cup white wine

Start by sauteing the celery, onions & bell pepper until soft then add the rest of the ingredients and cover and reduce all day. I simmered this batch for about six hours on very low heat. If you don't want to cook that long, reduce the amount of water, also this does have a little bite to it, so if you don't want it quite this hot you can reduce the Creole seasoning and crushed red pepper. Also adding and 8 oz. package of crab meat wouldn't hurt this any, though it does tend to disintegrate in the soup. What seafood you use may depend on your taste and what's available at the time...

Little Things

It's a little after 6:00 a.m. on Sunday morning and the sun is just starting to come up. I love being up this early in the morning while it's still cool out and oh so quiet. The rain continues to come down outside as it has all night, but I am not complaining since it is our first real rain in a very long time. In fact I can't remember the last time we received any significant precipitation. One problem with living this close to the windward side of lake Erie is that sometimes you can go all summer without rain. The lake can cause storms to "split" and go around this area so that it rains everywhere else but here. It's a strange phenomenon, but one I have lived with all my life. There are times when you can see that the thunder and lightning are being "pushed" way south of us and you know they are getting the rain that you were so desperately hoping for. Very often we can look up at the sky and see a ring of storm clouds in a circle all around the horizon, but nothing but sunshine and blue skies right over us. This may sound nice, unless it hasn't rained in two months and all your greenery is turning brown.

Last weekend I decided to move the small saplings that have been growing in my flowerbed out into my yard. I knew with as dry as it's been that I was taking a chance with this, but I have noticed that some of the trees around here are starting to change colors already and I didn't want to wait any longer. So last Saturday I moved sixteen trees, mostly Maples, out into my back yard, and have been carrying buckets of water out to them every night since. My hands were very swollen after all that digging but it was nice to stand among them and imagine what they will look like in ten or twenty years. Now all I have to do is keep them alive until the rains come, which hopefully last nights rain marks the beginning of the wet season. Weather forecasts around here really are useless. I may have lost two of the trees that are out in an area that gets a lot of sunlight, but hopefully most of them will survive. This year I hope to get some nice pictures of the fall foliage as it changes. Last autumn we had tremendous winds that blew all the leaves off of the trees as soon as they would change. The only good thing about that was that I didn't have to rake because all the leaves blew out of my yard. We'll see what this season brings.

I was going to mow the lawn today but the rain is putting an end to that idea. I am going to have to work on the mower before I can do so though. Last week I was about twenty minutes into mowing when, for no apparent reason, the mower lost most of its compression, which caused it to run very slowly. It wasn't mulching after that, but I did manage to fight my way through the rest of the yard, hopefully I haven't blown the engine on it. I really don't want to have to buy a new mower with so little of the season left, though now is a good time to do so, as they are all on sale. This mower is only two years old so I don't plan on giving up on it just yet. It does take quite a beating, as my yard is big enough for a riding lawn mower. All my neighbors have riding lawn mowers and the neighbors on either side of me (good guys that they are) have been mowing quite far into my yard. I think they feel sorry for me, not having a rider, but I've tried to explain to them that I like push mowing my lawn (it only takes me about two hours) and I don't intend on ever buying a rider. I tell them that some guys walk eighteen holes of golf every week, I push mow my lawn, but this hasn't stopped them, in fact they seem to be mowing further and further into my lawn every week. I'm not complaining mind you, last week, when the mower gave out, I was very glad to have less lawn to mow. It has always been a puzzlement to me, that we do things to make our lives easier (like buying riding lawn mowers) but then we have to start an exercise program because we've made our lives too easy.

I have found a new Website, www.livescience.com, that has quickly become my favorite site. They have lots of interesting articles, and new ones every day. The site changes all of the time (unlike my blog), which means you can go back to it every day and find new and interesting stuff to read. They also seem to be affiliated with half a dozen other sites, which provide new and interesting articles as well. The most amazing article I have read so far is one about a hexagon shape they have found in the upper atmosphere on the planet Saturn, which they can't explain, and it doesn't seem to go away, as they have seen it for over twenty years now by different space probes. These sites also have top 10 lists and trivia & quizzes that are a lot of fun to take. I know just the mention of the word "science" for many people will conjure up nightmares of high school science classes, but I was fortunate to have some really excellent teachers that fostered a love of the subject in me. These sites also tend to deal with the more interesting discoveries in science these days and they won't be asking you to memorize the periodic table either...

PS: The picture of the moon at the top is just one I took with my camera zoomed all the way out and really has nothing to do with this post. The picture of the hexagon on Saturn, on the other hand, was borrowed from www.space.com as my camera can't zoom quite that far...:)


Modern science has been a voyage into the unknown, with a lesson in humility waiting at every stop. Many passengers would rather have stayed home.

-Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot

Most Unusual O.C.D. Trait

Now I don't usually post about my job, (being in Engineering, it isn't all that exciting to anyone but other Engineers), but Friday was just too good to let go. I wrote a question up on a dry erase board in my department, "What is your most unusual O.C.D. Trait?", and I received some anally wonderful, obsessive-compulsive answers.

Now if any of you know any Engineers, you will know exactly what I am talking about. They may possibly be the most meticulous, anal-retentive, perfectionists that have ever worn a pocket protector. Women that are doomed to the unfortunate hell of having to be married to an Engineer know exactly what I am talking about. Their husbands generally don't cheat on them, or physically or mentally abuse them, (though you may call being married to one a form of mental abuse). These women have to put up with some things that are much, much worse. The constant rearranging of things into their proper locations (a place for everything and everything in it's place), the lack of spontaneity (if you want us to be spontaneous, you have to allow us to have a design review meeting and write some specifications on exactly how this spontaneity will be performed), and the generally just strange quirks that Engineers exhibit on a daily basis. I won't even talk about the female Engineers, they are an entirely different breed altogether.

I received many of the standard answers, "The toilet paper has to be on the roller so that it rolls outward, not towards the wall", "Constantly straightening the dish towel that is hanging on the handle of the stove", etc., but what I was looking for was the really unusual ones. To understand the difference between "normal peoples" obsessive-compulsive disorder and Engineers O.C.D. you have to realize that if a normal O.C.D. person sees a picture on the wall hanging uneven they will constantly have to straighten it, where the O.C.D. Engineer will tear the wall down and rebuild it so that the picture never goes out of level again.

We did have one Engineer that claimed not to be anal at all, and we even called up his wife to find out the truth (wives know), but she actually confirmed his story. We have decided to have his degree investigated to make sure he is actually an Engineer and not one of those Art majors.

Now I would like to share with you the best ones from the list, in no particular order (hard to believe isn't it?), starting with my own:

I have coffee cup tree in my kitchen which has to hold the same six mugs, each of which has their own location on the tree, and each of which is used on a specific day of the week. One is used twice, it is my weekend mug, which means dishes are done on Saturday night so that it can get washed for use on Sunday.

Another Engineer has two jugs, one of milk and one of juice, which go in the door of their refrigerator at home. Now most of his family members will just put them anywhere in the door, and normal O.C.D. would cause a person to put them in the exact same location every time, but this Engineer's O.C.D., means that he has to put the one that is the most full closest to the hinge of the door since the heavier weight towards the outside edge of the door would change the center of gravity and it's moment of inertia (sorry for the Engineering terms) and would cause the door to swing open too fast.

A young, Intern Engineer claims that whenever he sees a new piece of chalk for a chalkboard he has to break it, but not just break it normally, he has to "twist it" to break it, since anything that is broken by twisting, will break at a 45 degree angle. If you don't quite understand this one, just realize that it's an Engineering thing. We did debate whether this is actual O.C.D. or just youthful destructiveness, so for the time being, though I have included it, this one is still up for review.

Finally, I have saved what I feel is the best for last. When asked what his most unusual O.C.D. trait was, one Engineer replied, "that's easy", and pulled up his pant leg to reveal a safety pin hooked to one of his socks. Apparently he has a safety pin hooked to every pair of socks he owns so that he can pin them together before putting them in the wash, that way each sock will have the same amount of wear and tear on it, he can also use the safety pin if he splits his pants at work, or he can use it for an emergency fishing hook, or a suture if he cuts himself. I'm told it's also important that it be a brass safety pin so that it won't rust in the wash.

So if you think my O.C.D. isn't as bad as some of these others, you have to realize how many hours I spend on each post and how many times I rewrite them, and still am not satisfied when I do finally give up and post them from the sheer exhaustion of nit-picking them to death (I am going to try and post this without a re-write, but I don't know if I will be able to stand it)...

What's your most unusual obsessive-compulsive disorder trait?


"In anything at all, perfection is finally attained, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away."

-Antoine De Saint-Exupery - Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939


******************************

Update: Seven days and still not smoking. It's been harder than I remember it, but I figure that's just because it's been longer.

1,000th Day One...

Well as of yesterday I am officially trying to quit smoking again. I've been down this road, oh, so many times before but have always managed to fall short of the objective. This time I am more determined to succeed than any other time I can remember, but I know that doesn't mean it will happen. I also know that it must happen, or they might as well just put me in a flip-top-box right now.

The last time I tried was two and a half years ago, I know this because that's when I quit drinking. I knew that most of the times I failed to quit smoking, drinking caused the failure. I would go out, have a few beers, lose my inhibitions and buy or bum a cigarette. So this last time I tried, I quit drinking first, hoping that it would be just what I needed to overcome the beast. I succeeded at quitting drinking, which really wasn't that hard at all, but after six months slipped off of the no smoking wagon.

I wish that quitting smoking was as easy as quitting drinking, then I'd have it made. In fact of all the challenges I've met in my life, quitting smoking has to be, by far, the hardest one for me to overcome. I don't understand why this is the case when so many of my family members have quit, seemingly so easily (I know this is only how it appears). My one brother quit and his wife is a chain smoker. I couldn't imagine trying with someone around me all the time like that. Unfortunately he just started up again after having stopped for eight years. I smacked him upside his head when I found out he started again.

I do understand full well what happened to him though. Something people who have never smoked can't possibly understand. Once you have been addicted to it for any length of time, it never, EVER, let's you go after that. You can quit for ten years, and the desire, the pangs to have one, will keep coming back. If I could quit and it would be totally gone after say, six months, then I would have succeeded a long time ago. There have been so many times that I've tried and failed after I thought I had it beat, just because after a while your guard lets down, a stressful day or a moment of weakness happens, and bang, you're back smoking again. The surgeon general once said quitting the smoking addiction is harder than quitting cocaine, yeah, I wish this were cocaine I was addicted too.

Even blogging can be difficult when you are trying to quit because just sitting down at the computer has become a trigger. I smoked much more when I sat behind the monitor than any other time. There are just so many triggers to overcome, I even tried to figure out a way to drive to work without passing a store, but there just isn't one. It's too easy, in a moment of weakness, to pull over into one of those places and buy a pack, especially when the stresses of the winter driving commute start, that one has nailed me several times.

This time I have a goal, though it may sound a bit silly. With the recent announcement by several countries of a planned return to the moon by 2020, I would kinda like to be around to see that. I was seven years old, and do remember the first time they landed, and yes I know it's quite an over-reaction on my part to think that I wouldn't be around in thirteen years if I don't quit, even though I did have an uncle die young from emphazema because he was a chain smoker. I just feel the need to quit this time seems so much more serious than before, as I enter the autumn of my life. It may be entering the winter of my life if I don't succeed.

I'm starting by using the patch again this time, which I have had luck with in the past (how can I say that if I always failed?). It really helps me get through the horrifically difficult beginning and first day. After that, the trick is not to let your guard down six months later. My second ex-wife once said "she thought I quit using the patch too early the other times", perhaps she was right, I think I will take her advice and stay on it a little longer this time. I have always felt that I really just needed the patch to get through the first day. I sure could use a wife right now to help relieve the stresses that come with quitting smoking ;-) though the truth is that spouses can cause their share of stresses as well.

So now it's time to keep busy (as to keep my mind off of it), take lots of naps, eat a lot, gain weight, and worry about the diabetes the weight gain may cause later. I can only fight one battle at a time and this is one battle that I really need to win...


To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
-Mark Twain

More GLMF 07

I was walking through the Medieval Faire in the early morn, just after opening, when a high voice didst called out to me "My Lord, wouldst thou like thy Tarot read?"

I responded to the fair young maiden sitting on the bench in the wood "How much of my gold wouldst such a reading cost?"

She responded "None my Lord, tis' free".

Now being a wary old sea dog I am not normally taken in by such frivolous things, but being that it was said to be free (doubt ringing in the back of me mind) I chose to give it a try nonetheless.

This fair maiden who didst go by the name "Michelle De Nostradamus" (hmmm... why didst her name sound so familiar?) invited me to sit whilst she did turn over 4 cards for me, which was apparently her form of reading the Tarot. Now I have never had my cards read before, but it did seem to me there should be more cards than that, but being that the price was so cheap I figured this must be the wal-mart version.

The first card she turned was "The Lovers" which she claimed to represent my past. Now as there have indeed been lovers in my past I was not overly surprised by this, but it surely did not tell me anything new.

The second card she turned over for me was "The Poppes" which she did tell me represented my present and after consulting the small book in her lap, didst also tell me "this represented balance and was a good thing" (after seeing her consult her manual and her seemingly unending hesitations I was getting the impression that she was maybe not the most spiritually gifted of "tellers" in the fine shire of Avaloch but then again, still no money had passed hands, so this was still all good). I thought upon the "Balance" this card was said to tell and I surmised that this was indeed also true as I have not fallen down in some time (at least not since I quit imbibing spirits), so this did seem reasonable to me as well, but as with before, no new revelations.

The third card which she didst turn over for me was "The Hanged Man" which she said did represent my future. This card did suggest to me that there was death in my future, which once again did not surprise me, as not being immortal, I do fully expect that I will die at some point. Nothing new to figure out here either.

The fourth and final card she turned for me was "The Magician" (kinda like the joker) and this card she did say was for luck. Well knowing my luck with gambling, as well as with the ladies, has always seemed to be a "joke", I did not see anything new here as well.

She did not have any more revelations to tell me as to exactly what the cards meant and did mostly seem at loss as far as what any explanations for them might be, so I did thank her and went on my way but not before tipping her a couple of pounds for at least trying (I suppose it worked since some money did end up changing hands).

As I walked away thinking what silliness these things are, and being a man of science, how is it that people can believe in such nonsense as Tarot Cards, Fortune Telling, Palm Reading and alike, it suddenly dawned on me "That her telling had been exactly correct after all!"...


"If fortune smiles, who doesn't? If fortune doesn't, who does?"
-Chinese Proverb

Medieval Faire 2007

Aaaaarghh!! It do be Medieval Faire time again and this last Saturday my son Zach and I set sail, bound for Geneva, Ohio, and our annual trip. The luck was with us, as it happened to be "Pirate Invasion" weekend, which is always good for me as it do match me garb. This year I dressed up but chose not to carry me trusty cutlass, opting instead to bring my camera, but fear not, it wasn't as if I was unarmed as it's a "canon", which every good Pirate should have. I would have posted this tale sooner but it took all day Sunday to edit these pics as I fired off me canon 432 times, nearly emptying my one gig hold, by three quarters, of all the shot I had on board that day. It was a good thing that I brought it with me as there were all kinds of strange folk and creatures about, the likes of which I have never seen in all me travels. I swear it be true, there where men with horns, and Elvin folk with pointed ears, tinkers and alike, and even belly dancers who would come brazenly up to the camera shaking their wares and tempting a man to... take their picture... As Poseidon is my witness there must have been evil spells and incantations being cast as to ensnare a brave mans soul. I tell thee there was indeed wickedness about, but I had me Canon with me, so not to fear from the temptations about... but I digress...

There were many Knights about with their trusty steeds doing battle, though their show of daring seemed much shorter than previous festivals I had attended. Perhaps it was due to the fact that they seem to have a different group of knights every year and this group seemed to be made up of lords a bit long in the tooth to be jousting. Also the showing off of their bravery included very little jest and boasting as I had come to expect of men of high honor, nay they had very little to say at all, just straight into battle they went. Still it was good to have them about to help protect honest sailors from eyes as green as the deep sea which peered deep into the lens as if to enthrall a brigands heart (sigh)... but alas I digress again...

My son Zach did seem to enjoy the Faire, though I sometimes wonder if he comes along just to please the old captain. This year, more than any, he really seemed to enjoy it even if some of the shows like the Falconer and the Tortuga Twins were not there, and even the brochure that you get at the entrance had been reduced from a booklet to a mere single page. He especially liked these large oxen though the sign in the back did say "Black Ox Good Food", which kind of made me wonder what manner of creature would want to eat such a beast after they had petted it. No doubt it was one of those Gypsy Queens that can vex a mans brain by flaunting their scantily clad midriffs, shaking themselves all about... hmmmm, I do be having problems concentrating on the tale at hand...

Some of my favorite minstrels, "The Pyrates Royale", where on hand singing their bawdy tales again this year. I watched their show last year but forgot to pick up a cd at the end of the show, a misgiving that I remedied this year. It's hard to find good pirate music, but these buccaneers are definitely first rate. I especially enjoy their song, "Hellship", a story about being clubbed by a comely wench in a tavern and spirited aboard a pirate vessel and forced to man the ship, and also their ballad, "The Boatman", a story of a woman longing for her man lost at sea. This ballad has an enchanting tune just like I've heard the sirens sing tempting a man to dive overboard. There must be some wicked magic about that can stop the heartiest of souls dead in their tracks and take the wind right out of their sails with a mere come hither stare... (Keep it together Dagoth)...
As always there where lots of wares for sale many of which would cost a Pirates treasure.
The "Washing Well Wenches" and the "Battle Chess" were back again this year, along with some new shows, so all in all it still made for a good Medieval Faire, even if some things seemed to be cut back. If you wish to see more pictures they are posted here at my Flickr site.
The weather was much better than last year when it was very hot and humid, and my pirate boots served me well for sloshing through the mud, everything was pleasantly dry this time. This will probably be the only weekend I will go to the Faire this year as there are only two weekends left and I didn't get a seasons pass this year...No I mean it, I'm not going back, no matter how much the gods tempt me!... Someone lash me to the mainmast!... Arrrrgh!!!

"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell."
-Anon

The Path to Emptiness

The other day I went to the bookstore even though I now have so many books to read that I really don't need to acquire any more. I wanted to get a book on Buddhism and of course had to pick up a few others while I was there, all the time trying to restrain myself from simply going hog wild and doing serious damage to the budget.

I didn't have any particular book in mind and if you have ever been in that section of the book store you know there are quite a few to choose from...hmmmm, how to decide... So I used pure Buddhist logic in making my choice, I picked the book with the happiest looking monk on the cover. I know, I know, but when you are taking a shot in the dark, any little bit of logic surely helps, no matter how off the wall it may seem. It turns out I made a good choice. The book I picked out was "The Joy of Living" by the Buddhist Master Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and I certainly have not been disappointed. I'd like to share a small excerpt from it just to give you an idea of what I mean...

"Learning to appreciate the clarity of the mind is a gradual process, just like developing an awareness of emptiness. First you get the main point, slowly grow more familiar with it, and then just continue training in recognition. Some texts actually compare the slow course of recognition to an old cow peeing - a nice down-to-earth description that keeps us from thinking of the process as something terribly difficult to abstract. Unless, however, you're a Tibetan nomad or happen to have been brought up on a farm, the comparison might not be immediately clear, so let me explain. An old cow doesn't pee in one quick burst, but in a slow, steady stream. It may not start out as much and it doesn't end quickly, either. In fact, the cow may walk several yards while in the process, continuing to graze. But when it's over - what a relief!"

Now if that doesn't give you insight into "the path to emptiness" I'm afraid nothing will. So if you are so inclined to read such things and get the opportunity to pick up Yongey Mingyur's book (Rinpoche is a title given to a great master which roughly translates as "precious one") "The Joy of Living" I promise you won't be disappointed. You may be surprised (as I was) how much physics and modern science are intermixing with Buddhist beliefs that have been around for countless centuries...


"Looking again and again at the mind which cannot be looked at, the meaning can be vividly seen, just as it is."
-The Third Gyalwang Karmapa

Battlewagon Blues

Tonight my van decided I should stick around at work a little longer than usual. I went out after work, as usual the last one in the lot, and started it and it immediately died. In fact I started it 6 times and it stalled each time right after I turned the key. After that it simply refused to turn over at all. Fortunately the guard was still there and he helped me jump it, but still no dice. The lights wouldn't even turn on. We did have to do a lot of work on my old jumper cables as they had become quite rusty sitting in the back of the van. After working on them a while we were able to get quite a bit of spark, but she was still being stubborn, so I had the guard drive me to the auto parts store to get a new battery.

Now I didn't really think it was the battery, as the one in it is only two years old, but I didn't have many other options at that point. The battery that was in it my ex wife had put in before she gave me the van and it had to be the cheapest battery on the planet, it looked like it was made for a garden tractor. I decided I had very little to loose by buying a better battery.

So we got back and put in the new one and turned the key... no dice. At that point I was quite ready to give up, so I packed my tools away and was going to go back inside to see if I could call someone for a ride when I decided to give it one more shot. I pumped the pedal once (don't ask me why) and low and behold it fired up and stayed started.

I took the old battery back to the parts store to get the deposit (should have brought it with me the first time) and had them check it while I was there and sure enough the battery was fine. Now it has left me wondering what is going wrong with it now. It could be the starter or the fuel pump, but I can't say as I've ever had one of my vehicles act quite like this before. Now I get to wait and see what's going to give out and where it's going to strand me...

An Imagining...

I became aware... At one point in time and space, I understood that I was energy and matter and time and space. I understood that I could absorb more energy and more matter and become more than I was. I understood that I could touch a thing, such as holding a cup in my hand, and at the level of the very small, my atoms would mix with it's atoms, for there was more space between our atoms than there was matter itself, the boundary between it and myself would merge. I learned that I could bring down that barrier and take it's matter and energy into my own and we would become one, and I would be increased. Just as when you consume, you take into yourself some of the energy and matter of that which you consumed. My desire to consume increased and I reveled in the joy of it. For as I consumed more, the power, the energy that I was, became more, and there was a great joy in this.

This joy was caused by my increase in energy, because as I became more powerful, as my energy increased and I became larger, encompassing more matter, I became safer. Safer in the knowledge that no other separate energy, no other separate matter, could absorb the energy and matter that I was. The fear of this happening to me lessened.

It became like a drug, this need to be safe, and I consumed more and more. Growing ever larger, expanding, first consuming planets, and then whole solar systems. I continued forever increasing in mass and size to eventually consume whole galaxies and beyond. Eventually absorbing even time itself, for I knew it could harm me as well. Eventually all that was had become part of me. I had absorbed all energy and matter and space and time that existed everywhere. I became all that was, and all that was had become part of me. There was no separate energy, or matter, or space, or time, I did not encompass. I was everything... Except...

As I reached the end, encompassing all things until there was nothing left that was not me but the most tiniest of single particles, with the least amount of energy, holding the smallest amount of space for the least amount of time, I stood poised to absorb it, but hesitated...

At that point I looked down upon this smallest of things and realized that it could not harm me, for I was everything and it was merely the smallest of things. I looked down upon it and cherished it and realized that if I consumed it, I would be alone, and a new fear overtook me. Yes, I was on the verge of being all things, all matter and energy, all space and time, wherein nothing could harm me, but I was also on the verge of being alone, a type of aloneness almost unimaginable. For there would be nothing else that was not me, forever, and at this point even forever had lost it's meaning, as I had absorbed all time as well.

I looked down upon this one last spec of matter and energy and space and time and thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. After all it was the only thing left to keep me company, the only thing left between me and forever being alone with nothing... but it was not enough...

I needed more things that were not me. I began to regress back the way I had come. I began to cast off the energy and matter and space and time that I had absorbed. Shrinking forever smaller and I reveled in this, the smaller I became, because there were now many more things to keep me company. I was no longer alone.

I continued until I was as that last spec had been, the smallest of things, holding the least amount of matter and energy, encompassing the smallest amount of space and time, and once again I stopped, though this time, not because I wished it, but because there was nowhere left to go. Beyond this smallest of things, there was neither time and space, nor matter or energy, there was simply nowhere to go beyond that. Beyond that, there was no existence, a place I could no longer go... I began the journey back upwards again...

I finally reached the place where I had started this journey and stayed there content. I knew that if I grew to encompass all things, I would be safe, but alone. I knew if I was reduced to the smallest of things, I still could not be reduced beyond that, and was safe. I knew that whenever you consume something, making it part of yourself, you will take in some of it's matter and energy, but not all of it. I knew there was no need to fear that my matter and energy and time and space would be consumed by something else, I could never completely wink out of existence. I could exist here, both gaining and casting off energy, both gaining and casting off matter, taking all the space and time as I needed, without any fear. I understood that having all the energy, and matter and space and time in the universe meant being alone, and having none of it was ok as well, because it meant I had an entire universe to keep me company. What I possessed was not near as important as the company I kept along the way...


How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.

-Albert Einstein

Photographic Expedition No. 1

Yesterday I went on my first photographic expedition. I thought there would be many when I purchased my new camera, but life has conspired to delay my first one, as life often does. I felt that an expedition should involve a quest, so I decided to make my first quest the U.S. Brig Niagara, which is a recreation of Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry's flagship and is based right here in Erie, Pennsylvania...

When I got downtown to the ships birth, there was no tall ship to be had. I know it had been here on Wednesday when I had passed by this place... I wondered where it had gotten off too and decided to look around for it...I found many sailing vessels, but not quite the one I was looking for...I even found old sailing ships, though they were still not quite the tall ship I was looking for...I looked out over the bay, and though I found Perry's monument over on our peninsula, Presque Isle, I did not find his ship...
I even zoomed in on his monument, thinking perhaps it was hiding (though how could you hide such a large vessel? I just like the zoom feature), but alas still no ship...I searched the waters of the bay for this ship, but found only ducks...And more ducks...I found a new Convention Center being built...I found a tall tower... and I thought, if I went up in it, I could see the whole bay and find this missing ship...Yes, a very tall tower...But alas the tower was closed so I could not use it to find the Brig... Where else should I look? I decided to journey around the bay, and go out onto the peninsula, where I could see Lake Erie, and perhaps find my lost ship out there plying the waves, as tall ships often do...On my journey I found a clown fish, though there are many fish here...I found a big blue frog, there are many of them here as well, if you know where to look... This one's in love...I finally made it out to Presque Isle and looked back to where I had come from, thinking perhaps it had come back, but still no tall ship...I found Perry's Monument that I had seen from the other side of the bay, but his ship was still not here... I grew dejected...I peered out onto Lake Erie and my heart rose! There were many boats here, perhaps one was the one I sought...But I found only beautiful sandy beaches, and the blue water of the lake, and no tall ship...
I found many colored flags fluttering in the wind, but these were not the big white, square sails and the rigging that I was looking for...I even found seagulls flying in the breeze, but they were not really seagulls at all... But a mere illusion...

So, sadly I headed home... My grand quest a failure... and when I got home I checked the Brig's website, and found that the Niagara was off visiting neighbors... Which had I checked before I left, I would have known she was not here, and there would have been no need to go off on this foolhardy expedition. I could have saved my self all this time and trouble...

Afterwards I realized that journeys do not always take you where you thought they would, and you do not always find what you are looking for...

Sometimes marvelous things find you instead...

"It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end."

-Ursula K. LeGuin