Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Best Friend

I haven't heard from my best friend "Jul" lately. She used to call me all the time but she's been having some problems at home and hasn't been able to call much lately. When she has called me, I could tell she was sneaking the call in by the way they have abruptly ended. She just had a new modular home built and they have had all kinds of problems with it, not to mention how long it's taking for her old home to sell. I hope everything is going well on that front.

We met each other when we were 15 and became good friends right from the start. I remember times when we would ride our bikes for miles to see each other, as we didn't live very close to each other.

Her and I shared one locker all through high school, I seem to remember she said she "wanted to keep one book there, for a class that was close by" and had moved everything in within a week.

We hold world records for talking on the phone, with some calls having gone on for three and four hours.

Though many others have come and gone she has always been there for me, except for a period of time during her first marriage when her husband made it clear I wasn't welcome (he was an asshole, and that's all there is to that.)

After we each got divorced from our first spouses, we hooked back up again and have been together ever since. Through my second marriage and divorce, her second marriage, lots of girlfriends for me and boyfriends for her, we have always been there for each other. I hope we're not loosing contact again.

Part of the problem we have always had is, we're both insatiable flirts, and when we get together, well lets just say our mates haven't always appreciated the way "Jul" and I act towards each other. All I have to say is "to hell with them, she has been my friend longer than anyone, and if they can't deal with it, tuff."

To say my second wife, "T2", didn't care for "Jul" very much, would be an understatement. "T2" had a jealous bone that would rival, in size, any dinosaur bone that has ever been unearthed. I asked "Jul" to be my "best person" at our wedding and that didn't go over very well. The problem started when we decided to have a country-western wedding. "Jul" rented the same Tux that the rest of us did, but since it was a guy's Tux, you can imagine that the pants didn't fit quite right. She asked me if she could substitute a black skirt instead and I said that it was ok, but when I told "T2" she had a cow. I didn't think that "Jul" was being unreasonable, "T2" just had to pick out something to get "bent out" about.

The end of the month is "Jul's" birthday; I hope she has a great one. I probably won't see her before then but maybe we'll be able to sneak in a phone call. Her and I have shared a lot of life together and I hope we get to share the rest of it together as well. Having a female best friend, for a guy, is somewhat unusual, but I wouldn't have it any other way. "I love you and miss you kiddo."

11 comments:

Hope said...

Excellent post....I think some of the problem is that a lot of people cling to the idea that men and women can't really just be friends. But sometimes, it works out great. I hope you guys don't lose touch!

Spider Walk said...

I agree with Hope.
Some of my best friend growing up were guys. Somehow I have managed to keep touch with only two of them.
I understand completly how sometimes jealousy rears it's ugly head--but you two are fortunate that you have weathered that storm.
Why not give her a call for her birthday?

Josh said...

That is so sweet. Most of my best buds have been guys. Seems like people wouldn't be all jealous about it. If you two were going to have rampant sex, it would have happened long ago so why worry now.

Spider Walk said...

Gee. That Liz. Does she EVER get her mind out of the gutter?
*sigh*

Tai said...

Why does she have to 'sneak' phone calls?

That's worth a couple of alarm bells going off!

Dagoth said...

Thanks Guys

Hope - Thanks, I don't know why people think that way...

Spider - I really don't have a jealous bone in my body so it's a little hard for me to understand...

Liz - Oh, her and I weren't supposed to have rampant sex? I wish someone would let me know these rules...:P

Spider - If she does we'll think there is something wrong with her...:)

Tai - Yes, I hope everything is working out ok for her...

Tenacious T said...

I love friendships like that. The kind that are always there, even during the times when you can't talk.
What a very sweet story. Why haven't you two ever gotten together?

Spider Walk said...

Dagoth,
I don't have a jealous bone in my body either. I do however live with someone who is quite the opposite. I just don't get it? Sometimes jealousy seems as if it's some form of control over another person. I learned early on to set my boundries and plant them firm.

Hope you're doing well today. I was sort of hoping to see some *hint* *hint* pictures of you *hint* *hint* posted today :D

Dagoth said...

Thanks Guys

T - When You have had someone as a friend that long you don't want to take the chance of wrecking a great friendship...

Spidey - I know what it's like to feel "owned"...Is this your wish...

BostonPobble said...

One of the good things I have to give the SGM credit for, he knew he was marrying a flirt, he knew my best friend was male, and he trusted me enough to be comfortable with both of those things. This is not always the case. As everyone here knows, that kind of jealousy is about the other person's insecurity.

The nice thing is it sounds like, even if you and Jul are going through a stage where you aren't in contact as regularly, the two of you will never completely lose touch. And I know what you mean about not risking that kind of a friendship for a roll in the sack. There are men in my life who I wouldn't *dream* of having sex with because I wouldn't lose them for anything but especially not an overdose of hormones (plus, once you get to this place, it tends to be kind of icky to even consider.)

And ditto what Tai said (I ditto her often.) If Jul is "sneaking" phone calls to you, everything is *not* going well for her. No way of knowing what level of bad she's dealing with ~ but she's dealing with some level of bad.

Dagoth said...

Thanks Pobble

that kind of jealousy is about the other person's insecurity.

Sometimes it's worse than just insecurity...

There are men in my life who I wouldn't *dream* of having sex with

Pobble are those *dreams* coming back again?...:)